Hi - remember me? Crazy enough it's been almost ONE YEAR to the day since my last post. So my promise was honest... raw.... heartfelt stories of my weight loss journey. I disappeared because I gained it all back AGAIN. Maybe this is the first time I've been honest with myself. Regardless, I'm back having forgiven myself for the weight gain but not for losing touch with all of my readers and myself really. If you recall, one of the things I'm great at is putting a positive spin on everything right so let's explore what I've learned since my last blog post....
I've been trying to tackle how I process stress. I find that one of my biggest triggers to veering off my weight loss path is stress whether it's eating to cope with the stress or stressing myself out so much about getting to the gym in the midst of the daily grind that I freeze and don't exercise at all... stress is huge.
Stress' close sibling is guilt - in fact can't figure out which is worse guilt or stress... stress or guilt. A few months ago I had a major breakthrough with my life coach. She said EXAMINE YOUR GUILT. Hmmm I thought, not only have I never done that I didn't even know where to begin. She's good so immediately she sensed I needed more direction. She defined guilt as the feeling that I'm causing harm to someone I love or care about by what I'm doing or not doing. Read that again... especially the moms out there. Guilt is the feeling that I'm causing harm to someone I love or care about by what I'm doing or not doing. Eye opening right? Ok so how do you examine this guilt?
She said it's as simple as this.... are you ready?
Look for evidence of harm. If there is NO evidence of harm its JOY KILLER GUILT and 70% of all guilt is JOY KILLER GUILT.
If you identify the guilt as JOY KILLER GUILT take a step back and be OK with being OK. Embrace the fact that everything is OK or that everything is going to be OK. If it's joy killer guilt LET IT GO! Hard to do but man it gets better with practice! Practicing letting go is part of the process to being gentler and kinder to oneself and man is that important... and deserved! This has been a huge life lesson for me. I keep these notes in the front of my notebook so i can look at them all the time.
I've also put more thought into why I called this blog Flipped the Switch. Originally I thought I had finally flipped the switch on this weight loss thing and I have all be it ups and downs or flipping on and off I could say. But then I realized Flipping the Switch could encompass so much more for me. To me flipping the switch means the light's on - I can see - something is clearer than it was five minutes before - I'm present like in the room with the light on.... all of this is LIFE not just weight loss! So there you go I'm going to make this a forum for thoughts, lessons, experiences about LIFE.
But to honor the original purpose of this blog I must update you on the weight loss journey. I never give up so yeah I gained back the 23 pounds or so I lost but even now I'm down 16 more... I realized at one point that in order to lose the weight I would have to eat 1/2 of what I was eating and exercise double. I can't do that! So I've started to see a weight loss doctor - nothing surgical or crazy - just weekly check-ins, a lot of vitamins, an appetite suppressant and one really smelly natural fat burner. I've been doing it since May and have lost 16 pounds. Not as much as I would have hoped because all this stuff I'm taking is to speed up weight loss but it's good. Still cutting down on carbs - trying to eat less - getting in exercise is still a challenge but still doing TNT which helps a lot... again it's a journey full of lifetime changes.
I think future posts will be more about LIFE as a mom, my professional LIFE, LIFE as a wife - friend - daughter etc. So I'm truly sorry for the disappearing act but hope you continue to follow as I FLIP THE SWITCH!
