Hi - remember me? Crazy enough it's been almost ONE YEAR to the day since my last post. So my promise was honest... raw.... heartfelt stories of my weight loss journey. I disappeared because I gained it all back AGAIN. Maybe this is the first time I've been honest with myself. Regardless, I'm back having forgiven myself for the weight gain but not for losing touch with all of my readers and myself really. If you recall, one of the things I'm great at is putting a positive spin on everything right so let's explore what I've learned since my last blog post....
I've been trying to tackle how I process stress. I find that one of my biggest triggers to veering off my weight loss path is stress whether it's eating to cope with the stress or stressing myself out so much about getting to the gym in the midst of the daily grind that I freeze and don't exercise at all... stress is huge.
Stress' close sibling is guilt - in fact can't figure out which is worse guilt or stress... stress or guilt. A few months ago I had a major breakthrough with my life coach. She said EXAMINE YOUR GUILT. Hmmm I thought, not only have I never done that I didn't even know where to begin. She's good so immediately she sensed I needed more direction. She defined guilt as the feeling that I'm causing harm to someone I love or care about by what I'm doing or not doing. Read that again... especially the moms out there. Guilt is the feeling that I'm causing harm to someone I love or care about by what I'm doing or not doing. Eye opening right? Ok so how do you examine this guilt?
She said it's as simple as this.... are you ready?
Look for evidence of harm. If there is NO evidence of harm its JOY KILLER GUILT and 70% of all guilt is JOY KILLER GUILT.
If you identify the guilt as JOY KILLER GUILT take a step back and be OK with being OK. Embrace the fact that everything is OK or that everything is going to be OK. If it's joy killer guilt LET IT GO! Hard to do but man it gets better with practice! Practicing letting go is part of the process to being gentler and kinder to oneself and man is that important... and deserved! This has been a huge life lesson for me. I keep these notes in the front of my notebook so i can look at them all the time.
I've also put more thought into why I called this blog Flipped the Switch. Originally I thought I had finally flipped the switch on this weight loss thing and I have all be it ups and downs or flipping on and off I could say. But then I realized Flipping the Switch could encompass so much more for me. To me flipping the switch means the light's on - I can see - something is clearer than it was five minutes before - I'm present like in the room with the light on.... all of this is LIFE not just weight loss! So there you go I'm going to make this a forum for thoughts, lessons, experiences about LIFE.
But to honor the original purpose of this blog I must update you on the weight loss journey. I never give up so yeah I gained back the 23 pounds or so I lost but even now I'm down 16 more... I realized at one point that in order to lose the weight I would have to eat 1/2 of what I was eating and exercise double. I can't do that! So I've started to see a weight loss doctor - nothing surgical or crazy - just weekly check-ins, a lot of vitamins, an appetite suppressant and one really smelly natural fat burner. I've been doing it since May and have lost 16 pounds. Not as much as I would have hoped because all this stuff I'm taking is to speed up weight loss but it's good. Still cutting down on carbs - trying to eat less - getting in exercise is still a challenge but still doing TNT which helps a lot... again it's a journey full of lifetime changes.
I think future posts will be more about LIFE as a mom, my professional LIFE, LIFE as a wife - friend - daughter etc. So I'm truly sorry for the disappearing act but hope you continue to follow as I FLIP THE SWITCH!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Comments to the comments and end of summer preview!
Hello everyone,
Thanks again for the comments. I love reading them especially when you include tips and yummy food ideas. So here's my comments to the comments!
Jill: LOVE the lettuce wraps in fact we're having taco night tonight and instead of the taco large pieces of romaine will serve as the "taco" and of course we use ground turkey. Like the CSA concept but thinking I'm going to stick to the shop in person thing - kind of like the hunt! :-)
Leah: So true about the kids being malnourished. So sad but never too late I guess. I reached out to the dietician here at Discovery to learn more and to see if I'm actually malnourished.
Bobette: So happy Mark was able to get it in the family newsletter. I have to check it out - I haven't seen the latest issue yet. We have an HMart here in VA too and I completely forgot how affordable their fish and meat are. They have a yummy Korean cafe for a cheap lunch before or after shopping and their produce is super cheap too but I find that it goes bad really fast so I have to plan carefully.
Stay tuned everyone... I'm brewing a vacation edition as I just got back and I'll fill you all in about the dietician - I think I will like her - she has her own blog and by the name I love her already.... BitchinDietician.com! OH and let me not forget. There's a book review coming too - I'm flippin pretty fast through the pages of Women, Food & God. Anyone want to read too and have a Book Club-y chat about it!?!
AND one last thing... upcoming events include:
- Bubba's Belly Run 5K on 9/26
Register at http://www.bubbasbellyrun.com/
- This October in DC (run out and cheer the walkers on and provide healthy snacks, water and gatorade)The Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk for a Cure for Breast Cancer (the event that started this journey for me) I'm not doing it this year but here's a survivor to support!!!! She supported our team efforts last year:
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/2010/WashingtonDCEvent2010?px=5212912&pg=personal&fr_id=1474
- My first 1/2 MARATHON 10/16
Thanks for reading everyone! :-)
Nik
Thanks again for the comments. I love reading them especially when you include tips and yummy food ideas. So here's my comments to the comments!
Jill: LOVE the lettuce wraps in fact we're having taco night tonight and instead of the taco large pieces of romaine will serve as the "taco" and of course we use ground turkey. Like the CSA concept but thinking I'm going to stick to the shop in person thing - kind of like the hunt! :-)
Leah: So true about the kids being malnourished. So sad but never too late I guess. I reached out to the dietician here at Discovery to learn more and to see if I'm actually malnourished.
Bobette: So happy Mark was able to get it in the family newsletter. I have to check it out - I haven't seen the latest issue yet. We have an HMart here in VA too and I completely forgot how affordable their fish and meat are. They have a yummy Korean cafe for a cheap lunch before or after shopping and their produce is super cheap too but I find that it goes bad really fast so I have to plan carefully.
Stay tuned everyone... I'm brewing a vacation edition as I just got back and I'll fill you all in about the dietician - I think I will like her - she has her own blog and by the name I love her already.... BitchinDietician.com! OH and let me not forget. There's a book review coming too - I'm flippin pretty fast through the pages of Women, Food & God. Anyone want to read too and have a Book Club-y chat about it!?!
AND one last thing... upcoming events include:
- Bubba's Belly Run 5K on 9/26
Register at http://www.bubbasbellyrun.com/
- This October in DC (run out and cheer the walkers on and provide healthy snacks, water and gatorade)The Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk for a Cure for Breast Cancer (the event that started this journey for me) I'm not doing it this year but here's a survivor to support!!!! She supported our team efforts last year:
http://www.the3day.org/site/TR/2010/WashingtonDCEvent2010?px=5212912&pg=personal&fr_id=1474
- My first 1/2 MARATHON 10/16
Thanks for reading everyone! :-)
Nik
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Nothing but heart to back me up!
This is one of those posts that's been brewing for months. Realized that in the rantings to come I have nothing but heart to back me up and a few little tidbits from the news and articles along the way but that's not going to stop the rant.
So we hear about this growing issue of obesity in America. Fat is killing us at younger and younger ages every year. And it seems to be a hot topic in the news from time to time kind of like "going green" is the new in thing. But I recently (like today) read a brief article in the AU Alumni magazine about a program that students from the College of Arts and Sciences started at a local middle school. In the first paragraph, I quote...
"...the sixth graders at Kelly Miller Middle School in Washington, DC's Ward 7 told a story familiar to those who study children living in poverty: poor breakfasts, locked-down schools with recess reduced to an indoor break, grocery stores that are 'always empty, with no strawberries or bananas."
The article goes on to say that when they started the Community Voices for Health: Kids Take Action project, most of the kids at the schools didn't know anything was wrong. The article features letters from the kids to President Obama and Nancy Pelosi, pleading for help.
One child says, "I am writing you to persuade you to help us out with our nutrition problems we have at Kelly Miller MS. We have pizzas, cheeseburgers, hamburgers and chicken patties like every day. We have kids suffering from obesity. We would be more than honored to have grown food from a garden at our school. Would you help us?"
That young girl is 11 or 12! One of the foundational beliefs of the late great Martin Luther King, Jr. was that problems we face in our country are not always racist at the core but rather economical. Poverty is the core of this issue - I guess it just so happens in most areas that minorities seem to be the majority living in poverty. Here's a true story that completely pissed me off. As many of you know, money has been an issue for us as of late. We're trying to rebuild our cash/savings, the only thing that will set you free according to my dad. In an effort to start saving money on our food bills, I decided to shop at Shopper's Food Warehouse, a chain notorious for lower prices than some of my favorite grocery stores.
Shopper's is also frequented by families of lower income. I saw something I've never seen before. They actually cleared out an entire cooler in the produce section and filled it with paper goods, candy and other sugary items! I struggled to find the produce that was on my list and surely didn't find the organic items I typically buy like peppers, tomatoes, etc.
Next I went to the meat section. There I was about to pick up some ground turkey - a staple in our household. I actually saw meat on the shelf that was turning GREEN! Many of the other items I looked at like fish and chicken breasts were either previously frozen or frozen - not fresh. It just got worse from there. Many items that I buy low or no fat versions of didn't exist. Organic brown eggs - nope not there. Low fat shredded cheese was 2/3 higher in cost than the regular shredded cheese. Sugar free pudding cups - not there. Generally I would have been personally put out like how inconvenient for me because now I have to go to another store to get the items on my list but not this time....
I was PISSED. I was angry that families of lower incomes didn't even have the option to make healthier choices. That's why this is an issue of economics. Let's go to the extreme. Let's go to the mecca of healthy food - Whole Foods. Let's get real - there is a reason its nickname is Whole Paycheck! If you fill up a cart there you are literally signing over an average paycheck of someone working and making an honest living here in this country. I spend a lot of time in West Baltimore, a relatively low income area of the city. The grocery stores there are experts in frozen foods, quick pick-up meals, pre-packaged snacks, sodas, cakes and cookies. But I will say this, you can still talk to a real butcher in Baltimore. Items that are super foods and just happen to be common items on a soul food menu, like collard greens, kale and sweet potatoes are plentiful. You can also go to a real fish market and drive by many street vendors pushing their fresh from the farm wares. So why is obesity a growing problem in these areas. Education perhaps? And my friends, education is tied to what? Economics.
Ever since my Shopper's experience I've been resourceful in finding the healthy products I need at affordable prices and let me tell you my frontrunners:
Trader Joe's
See no where else in the DC Metro Area can I fill up my cart with most of the items on my produce list, wild caught smoked Alaskan salmon, some of my favorite Trader Joe treats like honey sesame sticks and their all natural breaded chicken fingers (my son's fave) and 8 bottles of wine (ok the wine is probably a blog topic all of its own but anyway) for under $80! Check out a location near you! http://www.traderjoes.com/stores/index.asp
Wal-Mart
Yes believe it or not Wal-Mart is excellent for my shopping list! There's a lot of junk in those food aisles don't get me wrong. But when you spend some time and search, there are a lot of great items that are $1 to $4 less than they are at the Safeway's and even Giant's of the world. For instance, last week I filled up my cart with three boxes of different kinds of Cheerios, a couple of boxes of my favorite 100 Calorie Packs, two boxes of Fiber One granola bars, two packs of Atkins Shakes, three boxes of Atkins bars, cheese slices, strawberry perserves, whole wheat bread, brown rice lasagna and macaroni pasta and two DVDs for my son for just over $100. AND guess what else? My hats off to Wal-Mart because for the first time ever I noticed they set up a FRESH PRODUCE SECTION that was nearly empty on a Saturday afternoon. I also found an entire gluten free section. I'm so proud of Wal-Mart because it has the corporate muscle and is truly setting a great example for discount stores everywhere to be more responsible in terms of the healthy options available to its target demographic: lower income families. It truly is living by its marketing mantra: LIVE BETTER FOR LESS!
Giant
Simply because Giant has a great produce selection. It's organic brand, Nature's Promise, can be trusted for fantastic organic options at affordable prices. They have an informative and easy to use Living Well section on their web site http://www.giantfood.com/living_well/index.htm and they take anyone's coupons including Safeway and have several double coupon days. The service couldn't be any better and many of them have Starbuck's because isn't grocery shopping so much more enjoyable with a Light Mocha Frappacino!?!
Those are my top three but I have to give shout outs to Harris Teeter for a truly enjoyable shopping experience for me and the kids (balloons, lots of samples, great "car" carts) and then they do this whole really cool thing in the produce section - interested in decreasing your environmental foot print? Harris Teeter clearly labels items from local growers. I frequently choose items from local growers and have been happy every time. HT also has great healthy options and a wide variety of fantastic HT branded items. Their fish section is the best next to Whole Paycheck I mean Whole Foods!
And I must give a HUGE SHOUT OUT to Montgomery County, MD! Did you know that MoCo now requires all restaurants (of a certain national size - mostly chains) to outwardly POST calorie counts for items on the menu. OMG this is the best thing since sliced bread really!!!! I've been counting calories for quite a while now so I'm kind of like a calorie count dictionary of all the food joints around my office in MoCo but man its truly funny to go into Starbucks and see Apple Fritters still there by the end of the day while in VA they're all gone by 9am!!! AND to go into Potbelly and see that they have now paired down their monstrous 500+ calorie dream oatmeal, chocolate chunk cookies to a two-pack of mini cookies because the sticker on that pack says "UNDER 200 CALORIES!" Someone in MoCo figured out that fat is killing us. CAN NOT WAIT for this to spread. I've literally witnessed people change their minds in line when they compare calories - see it's hard for smart people to justify an entire day's worth of calories in the Cookie Ice Cream sandwich at PotBelly - no seriously it's over 1300 calories!!! When for a person who is not obese is generally on a 1200 calorie a day recommended diet!!! Yeah - pick the TKY, baked chips, a diet coke and MAYBE the mini cookies to split with someone! LOL
Funny story - one of my work BFFs is someone who is tall and in my opinion has a body that defines body envy - she signed onto Lance Armstrong's new LIVE STRONG program - found out that she has a calorie budget of 1278 per day - the first day she realized her breakfast took up 2/3 the daily budget. I think she's still grumpy about it!!! LOL
So some people don't know. Some people don't care. Some people might care if they know. Some people think they can't afford to live a healthy lifestyle. Some people, like little people, like the kids at that local middle school, aren't given the tools they need whether that's education, gardens at their schools and at their homes, more farmer's markets, just a damn banana in their local store's produce section... so what are we going to do? Hats off to the AU program! I think I will make it a point to focus my volunteer hours on helping kids and families learn about healthy living and show them how to find the resources. You know like teach them how to fish not just lead them to the water or give them the fish.
Where there is passion and where there is heart there is a way! Food for thought on a Saturday.
Love,
Nik
So we hear about this growing issue of obesity in America. Fat is killing us at younger and younger ages every year. And it seems to be a hot topic in the news from time to time kind of like "going green" is the new in thing. But I recently (like today) read a brief article in the AU Alumni magazine about a program that students from the College of Arts and Sciences started at a local middle school. In the first paragraph, I quote...
"...the sixth graders at Kelly Miller Middle School in Washington, DC's Ward 7 told a story familiar to those who study children living in poverty: poor breakfasts, locked-down schools with recess reduced to an indoor break, grocery stores that are 'always empty, with no strawberries or bananas."
The article goes on to say that when they started the Community Voices for Health: Kids Take Action project, most of the kids at the schools didn't know anything was wrong. The article features letters from the kids to President Obama and Nancy Pelosi, pleading for help.
One child says, "I am writing you to persuade you to help us out with our nutrition problems we have at Kelly Miller MS. We have pizzas, cheeseburgers, hamburgers and chicken patties like every day. We have kids suffering from obesity. We would be more than honored to have grown food from a garden at our school. Would you help us?"
That young girl is 11 or 12! One of the foundational beliefs of the late great Martin Luther King, Jr. was that problems we face in our country are not always racist at the core but rather economical. Poverty is the core of this issue - I guess it just so happens in most areas that minorities seem to be the majority living in poverty. Here's a true story that completely pissed me off. As many of you know, money has been an issue for us as of late. We're trying to rebuild our cash/savings, the only thing that will set you free according to my dad. In an effort to start saving money on our food bills, I decided to shop at Shopper's Food Warehouse, a chain notorious for lower prices than some of my favorite grocery stores.
Shopper's is also frequented by families of lower income. I saw something I've never seen before. They actually cleared out an entire cooler in the produce section and filled it with paper goods, candy and other sugary items! I struggled to find the produce that was on my list and surely didn't find the organic items I typically buy like peppers, tomatoes, etc.
Next I went to the meat section. There I was about to pick up some ground turkey - a staple in our household. I actually saw meat on the shelf that was turning GREEN! Many of the other items I looked at like fish and chicken breasts were either previously frozen or frozen - not fresh. It just got worse from there. Many items that I buy low or no fat versions of didn't exist. Organic brown eggs - nope not there. Low fat shredded cheese was 2/3 higher in cost than the regular shredded cheese. Sugar free pudding cups - not there. Generally I would have been personally put out like how inconvenient for me because now I have to go to another store to get the items on my list but not this time....
I was PISSED. I was angry that families of lower incomes didn't even have the option to make healthier choices. That's why this is an issue of economics. Let's go to the extreme. Let's go to the mecca of healthy food - Whole Foods. Let's get real - there is a reason its nickname is Whole Paycheck! If you fill up a cart there you are literally signing over an average paycheck of someone working and making an honest living here in this country. I spend a lot of time in West Baltimore, a relatively low income area of the city. The grocery stores there are experts in frozen foods, quick pick-up meals, pre-packaged snacks, sodas, cakes and cookies. But I will say this, you can still talk to a real butcher in Baltimore. Items that are super foods and just happen to be common items on a soul food menu, like collard greens, kale and sweet potatoes are plentiful. You can also go to a real fish market and drive by many street vendors pushing their fresh from the farm wares. So why is obesity a growing problem in these areas. Education perhaps? And my friends, education is tied to what? Economics.
Ever since my Shopper's experience I've been resourceful in finding the healthy products I need at affordable prices and let me tell you my frontrunners:
Trader Joe's
See no where else in the DC Metro Area can I fill up my cart with most of the items on my produce list, wild caught smoked Alaskan salmon, some of my favorite Trader Joe treats like honey sesame sticks and their all natural breaded chicken fingers (my son's fave) and 8 bottles of wine (ok the wine is probably a blog topic all of its own but anyway) for under $80! Check out a location near you! http://www.traderjoes.com/stores/index.asp
Wal-Mart
Yes believe it or not Wal-Mart is excellent for my shopping list! There's a lot of junk in those food aisles don't get me wrong. But when you spend some time and search, there are a lot of great items that are $1 to $4 less than they are at the Safeway's and even Giant's of the world. For instance, last week I filled up my cart with three boxes of different kinds of Cheerios, a couple of boxes of my favorite 100 Calorie Packs, two boxes of Fiber One granola bars, two packs of Atkins Shakes, three boxes of Atkins bars, cheese slices, strawberry perserves, whole wheat bread, brown rice lasagna and macaroni pasta and two DVDs for my son for just over $100. AND guess what else? My hats off to Wal-Mart because for the first time ever I noticed they set up a FRESH PRODUCE SECTION that was nearly empty on a Saturday afternoon. I also found an entire gluten free section. I'm so proud of Wal-Mart because it has the corporate muscle and is truly setting a great example for discount stores everywhere to be more responsible in terms of the healthy options available to its target demographic: lower income families. It truly is living by its marketing mantra: LIVE BETTER FOR LESS!
Giant
Simply because Giant has a great produce selection. It's organic brand, Nature's Promise, can be trusted for fantastic organic options at affordable prices. They have an informative and easy to use Living Well section on their web site http://www.giantfood.com/living_well/index.htm and they take anyone's coupons including Safeway and have several double coupon days. The service couldn't be any better and many of them have Starbuck's because isn't grocery shopping so much more enjoyable with a Light Mocha Frappacino!?!
Those are my top three but I have to give shout outs to Harris Teeter for a truly enjoyable shopping experience for me and the kids (balloons, lots of samples, great "car" carts) and then they do this whole really cool thing in the produce section - interested in decreasing your environmental foot print? Harris Teeter clearly labels items from local growers. I frequently choose items from local growers and have been happy every time. HT also has great healthy options and a wide variety of fantastic HT branded items. Their fish section is the best next to Whole Paycheck I mean Whole Foods!
And I must give a HUGE SHOUT OUT to Montgomery County, MD! Did you know that MoCo now requires all restaurants (of a certain national size - mostly chains) to outwardly POST calorie counts for items on the menu. OMG this is the best thing since sliced bread really!!!! I've been counting calories for quite a while now so I'm kind of like a calorie count dictionary of all the food joints around my office in MoCo but man its truly funny to go into Starbucks and see Apple Fritters still there by the end of the day while in VA they're all gone by 9am!!! AND to go into Potbelly and see that they have now paired down their monstrous 500+ calorie dream oatmeal, chocolate chunk cookies to a two-pack of mini cookies because the sticker on that pack says "UNDER 200 CALORIES!" Someone in MoCo figured out that fat is killing us. CAN NOT WAIT for this to spread. I've literally witnessed people change their minds in line when they compare calories - see it's hard for smart people to justify an entire day's worth of calories in the Cookie Ice Cream sandwich at PotBelly - no seriously it's over 1300 calories!!! When for a person who is not obese is generally on a 1200 calorie a day recommended diet!!! Yeah - pick the TKY, baked chips, a diet coke and MAYBE the mini cookies to split with someone! LOL
Funny story - one of my work BFFs is someone who is tall and in my opinion has a body that defines body envy - she signed onto Lance Armstrong's new LIVE STRONG program - found out that she has a calorie budget of 1278 per day - the first day she realized her breakfast took up 2/3 the daily budget. I think she's still grumpy about it!!! LOL
So some people don't know. Some people don't care. Some people might care if they know. Some people think they can't afford to live a healthy lifestyle. Some people, like little people, like the kids at that local middle school, aren't given the tools they need whether that's education, gardens at their schools and at their homes, more farmer's markets, just a damn banana in their local store's produce section... so what are we going to do? Hats off to the AU program! I think I will make it a point to focus my volunteer hours on helping kids and families learn about healthy living and show them how to find the resources. You know like teach them how to fish not just lead them to the water or give them the fish.
Where there is passion and where there is heart there is a way! Food for thought on a Saturday.
Love,
Nik
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
I am happy to report that I did it again! Yesterday was not as stellar as the day before but it was still good. I went for a run last night instead of TNT because of work and traffic but I can't tell you how many times I contemplated driving home to see my son and husband and devise some sort of home workout. I knew though that I wouldn't burn nearly enough calories at home so I drove to the gym - there were no classes, I looked at the cardio machines and was like nope not feelin it... so I took my iPod, walked right out the front door of the gym and started running! AND btw on the list of things not to try at home... going for a run without a cell phone, by yourself, when no one knows where you are. I won't do that again. When I got back to the gym I stretched myself out and still made it home in time for Story Time.
Starting Weight (7/21): 238.4 (down 3.2!!!)
Calories Consumed (7/20): 2244 (lunch killed me - soft tacos instead of salad - womp womp)
Calories Burned (7/20): 2847
Deficit (7/20): 603
New Web Sites to share:
http://eatbetteramerica.com/
http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/
http://www.thedailygreen.com/
Have a great day everyone!
Nik
Starting Weight (7/21): 238.4 (down 3.2!!!)
Calories Consumed (7/20): 2244 (lunch killed me - soft tacos instead of salad - womp womp)
Calories Burned (7/20): 2847
Deficit (7/20): 603
New Web Sites to share:
http://eatbetteramerica.com/
http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/
http://www.thedailygreen.com/
Have a great day everyone!
Nik
Monday, July 19, 2010
One Day Down!
Woo Hoo!
I did it! Today was stellar. I got up at 6ish and worked out. I didn't go for a run because I realized when I was getting dressed... UH I have a little boy sleeping in his room!!!! I can't leave him at home alone!!! Crazy but true that it didn't occur to me sooner!!! But I did a living room workout - worked up a decent sweat. Then ate flawlessly today AND went to Turbo Kick class which turbo kicked my behind!
Starting weight this morning: 241.6
Calories Consumed: 1572
Calories Burned: 2715
Deficit: 1143
I did it! Today was stellar. I got up at 6ish and worked out. I didn't go for a run because I realized when I was getting dressed... UH I have a little boy sleeping in his room!!!! I can't leave him at home alone!!! Crazy but true that it didn't occur to me sooner!!! But I did a living room workout - worked up a decent sweat. Then ate flawlessly today AND went to Turbo Kick class which turbo kicked my behind!
Starting weight this morning: 241.6
Calories Consumed: 1572
Calories Burned: 2715
Deficit: 1143
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Confessions of an Overweight Woman!
Folks I've had some set backs.
Since my last entry my lowest weight has been 238 which would be 23 pounds down but my weight today, a couple of weeks later, is 244. UGH. I haven't written in a while for fear of disappointing all of my readers as much as I've disappointed myself, but that's not the right attitude. I promised to be raw from the beginning and I guess I have to repeatedly remind myself of that. I never promised to be perfect and not every step of a journey is on bright green, fluffy grass. This is the muck of weight loss for me. If it were easy I would have dropped it years ago never to be at this weight again. But it is hard.
I've been stressed. Financial worries have crept back into my life. Work is insanely busy. The commute is killing me. The precious baby of mine is now in full swing terrible twos. The list could go on. In an effort to build our savings back up after the lay offs, we've made some tough decisions and sacrifices, one of which being my beloved TNT. I look around the gym when I'm at TNT and I honestly don't think anyone else is getting the weight training workout that we're getting. Our trainers keep us moving, motivated and moaning! It's killing me to give it up. On one hand I'm thinking I can do this on my own. I recently purchased P90X for my husband, who has been doing Atkins for the last three or four weeks and is already down 14 - but that could be a bitch fest all on its own... I'm going to do P90X with him to take the place of TNT but I have my doubts it will work for me. The food thing in our house is tough because I'm the shopper - I'm being supportive of the Atkins regimen but I'm all confused. I think I'm eating more high protein meals and snacks that are naturally higher in calories, which has been the crucial factor for me and the BodyBugg. Then on the other hand I feel like money is a terrible reason to drop something that you know is working for you. I'm so literally afraid that I'm going to go backwards now. TNT officially ends for me 7/30.
The stress and insane workload has been causing me to "treat" myself to more and more calories a day. More and more little chats are being lost in my head to soothe the pain and stress with comforting food. Yikes I'm sliding and I can feel it. Where's the control? Where's the discipline? What does it say about me that I can slip so easily? I've been on this journey since October of last year and on the BodyBugg since February. I feel like I have nothing to show for it and that I've been fooling myself yet again into thinking that I'm doing great. I can in fact notice a change in my body. I know that - but its time to notice a change on that scale.
Now I'm supposed to flip it right - flip that switch to positive again. Ok so here are a few positive things.
1. I've promised myself to only sit out one 13-week session of TNT. So I MUST save pennies - whatever it takes to rejoin for the winter session.
2. I went into my BodyBugg profile and reset my weight and my goals to lose 50 pounds by 10/30 breaking the 200 mark. This means that every day I have to burn 3000 calories, only consume 2000 so there's a 1000 calorie deficit.
3. I'm still training for that 1/2 marathon in October so I'm going to add a morning run EVERY day even if it's just 30 minutes. This should rev my calorie burn quite a bit.
4. I'm going to do one hour of cardio at least five days a week in addition to the morning run.
5. I'm going to try P90X with an open mind and see if I like it - see if it works.
6. I'm going to fill out my food journal as I go all day long rather than wait until right before bed.
7. I'm going to try new low-fat, low-carb recipes to get me excited about cooking healthy again.
These are promises to myself.... not you guys, not my husband or anyone else. I have to do this for myself!!! I'm in no mood right now for my chipper, completely positive sign off so I'm going to sign off hopeful, naturally frustrated and in the process of forgiving myself! Until next time.... Nik
Since my last entry my lowest weight has been 238 which would be 23 pounds down but my weight today, a couple of weeks later, is 244. UGH. I haven't written in a while for fear of disappointing all of my readers as much as I've disappointed myself, but that's not the right attitude. I promised to be raw from the beginning and I guess I have to repeatedly remind myself of that. I never promised to be perfect and not every step of a journey is on bright green, fluffy grass. This is the muck of weight loss for me. If it were easy I would have dropped it years ago never to be at this weight again. But it is hard.
I've been stressed. Financial worries have crept back into my life. Work is insanely busy. The commute is killing me. The precious baby of mine is now in full swing terrible twos. The list could go on. In an effort to build our savings back up after the lay offs, we've made some tough decisions and sacrifices, one of which being my beloved TNT. I look around the gym when I'm at TNT and I honestly don't think anyone else is getting the weight training workout that we're getting. Our trainers keep us moving, motivated and moaning! It's killing me to give it up. On one hand I'm thinking I can do this on my own. I recently purchased P90X for my husband, who has been doing Atkins for the last three or four weeks and is already down 14 - but that could be a bitch fest all on its own... I'm going to do P90X with him to take the place of TNT but I have my doubts it will work for me. The food thing in our house is tough because I'm the shopper - I'm being supportive of the Atkins regimen but I'm all confused. I think I'm eating more high protein meals and snacks that are naturally higher in calories, which has been the crucial factor for me and the BodyBugg. Then on the other hand I feel like money is a terrible reason to drop something that you know is working for you. I'm so literally afraid that I'm going to go backwards now. TNT officially ends for me 7/30.
The stress and insane workload has been causing me to "treat" myself to more and more calories a day. More and more little chats are being lost in my head to soothe the pain and stress with comforting food. Yikes I'm sliding and I can feel it. Where's the control? Where's the discipline? What does it say about me that I can slip so easily? I've been on this journey since October of last year and on the BodyBugg since February. I feel like I have nothing to show for it and that I've been fooling myself yet again into thinking that I'm doing great. I can in fact notice a change in my body. I know that - but its time to notice a change on that scale.
Now I'm supposed to flip it right - flip that switch to positive again. Ok so here are a few positive things.
1. I've promised myself to only sit out one 13-week session of TNT. So I MUST save pennies - whatever it takes to rejoin for the winter session.
2. I went into my BodyBugg profile and reset my weight and my goals to lose 50 pounds by 10/30 breaking the 200 mark. This means that every day I have to burn 3000 calories, only consume 2000 so there's a 1000 calorie deficit.
3. I'm still training for that 1/2 marathon in October so I'm going to add a morning run EVERY day even if it's just 30 minutes. This should rev my calorie burn quite a bit.
4. I'm going to do one hour of cardio at least five days a week in addition to the morning run.
5. I'm going to try P90X with an open mind and see if I like it - see if it works.
6. I'm going to fill out my food journal as I go all day long rather than wait until right before bed.
7. I'm going to try new low-fat, low-carb recipes to get me excited about cooking healthy again.
These are promises to myself.... not you guys, not my husband or anyone else. I have to do this for myself!!! I'm in no mood right now for my chipper, completely positive sign off so I'm going to sign off hopeful, naturally frustrated and in the process of forgiving myself! Until next time.... Nik
Monday, May 24, 2010
Short but Sweet!
Hi all!
So updates.... yesterday my dad's chocolate, chocolate birthday cake was screaming at me. It grew eyes, these burley eye brows, a mouth, shark-like teeth and a really deep voice that said....
"Ha ha ha. You know you want to eat me. You know you want a piece of this. You can't avoid the smell and I'm so sweet and chocolatey and yummy. Come over here. It's worth the BILLION calories..."
It went on like that ALL day I tell you. But I won in the end! I did NOT eat a piece of that chocolate monster. No sir. Not me!
Have a great day free of temptation but know that you are stronger than that craving! Walk away. Walk away. Walk away.
So updates.... yesterday my dad's chocolate, chocolate birthday cake was screaming at me. It grew eyes, these burley eye brows, a mouth, shark-like teeth and a really deep voice that said....
"Ha ha ha. You know you want to eat me. You know you want a piece of this. You can't avoid the smell and I'm so sweet and chocolatey and yummy. Come over here. It's worth the BILLION calories..."
It went on like that ALL day I tell you. But I won in the end! I did NOT eat a piece of that chocolate monster. No sir. Not me!
Have a great day free of temptation but know that you are stronger than that craving! Walk away. Walk away. Walk away.
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