There has been a new blog entry brewing in my head for a few weeks now. This is not that entry!
For those of you who know me, you know it’s not rare to find me in my chair catching up on Oprah eps on my DVR. Tonight I’m catching the episode in remembrance of Senator Ted Kennedy. As the Senator said himself in a letter he wrote to the Pope in the last weeks of his life, “I know that I’ve been an imperfect human-being, but with the help of my faith I have tried to right my path.” Now this super family, The Kennedy’s, generally inspires me when the spotlight is on them. But this series of family interviews has shed a different light: a light of humanness and with humanness comes imperfection. Whether you agree with their politics there is no denial that this group of people embodies something special. Such perseverance; such planning; such a desire for greatness; such optimism; such determination is not of text books.
Family members were asked to share their favorite memories of the Senator. His oldest son told a story of when he was a small boy, diagnosed with a cancer that took one of his legs. It was a snowy day, he was leaving the hospital with his dad, the Senator, and he was getting used to his new artificial leg. Senator Kennedy went in the garage and pulled out the radio flyer sled and asked his young son if he wanted to sled down their steep hill. So they tried and he couldn’t get it at first with this foreign leg of his. He looked at his dad, crying and said, “I can’t.” The Senator simply responded, “…we’re going to do this even if it takes all day. There is nothing you can’t do.” Wow! Now that’s a lesson! And how appropriate is the title of his memoirs, True Compass…definitely not a text book.
Then I realized, this battle between I can’t and I can has been at the center of my weight loss journey since I noticed I couldn’t cross my legs under my desk like the other girls in school. I have been able to accomplish so many things in life and have made it through so many journeys in life. I think that both of my parents instilled a great sense of ‘yes you can’ in me. That leaves me with the question, why not this? But even as I’m writing this I’m realizing that I don’t have to ask that question anymore. Why? Because I’m doing it. Right now I’m doing it. I’m not asking myself or anyone else anymore.
Senator Kennedy shared one of his favorite memories in a recent documentary about his life. It was the story of his grandson who had been struggling with school work and getting into a little bit of trouble. That summer he enrolled the 10- or 12-year-old in sailing lessons. Sailing ignited a spark in him. He was excited about learning and at the end of summer awards were given out. Senator Kennedy chuckled at the fact that it was hard to even hug his grandson because his chest was sticking out so far with pride! What was my spark? My son. The Breast Cancer 3-Day. The people who motivated me on the walk and inspired me through their own great accomplishments. All of the above and more. I finally chose the right path at the crossroads of I can’t and I can. And I’m proud of myself. Can you see my chest sticking out?
So I guess the other blog entry that’s been brewing will make its debut tomorrow maybe… soon I promise! Sweet dreams and goodnight.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
That's Life
Happy New Year!
Well I didn't hit my goal of 241 but I did get to 243! I almost forgot that I had even set a goal until a friend and follower of my blog reminded me! Over the holidays... having NOT followed my own rules and "tips"... having only worked out twice... Ok so I'm not condoning my behavior but I did lose 5 pounds! How? The only thing I can think of is portion control and the muscles I'm breeding happen to be helping out!
But tonight there's something else on my mind.... Stress! So I'm not sure what's going on with my contract job - the one in which the contract is up in say MARCH. I'm up for a manager position, however, I have no idea if I'm going to get it. So do I torture myself with the excruciating pain of the job search or just believe that I will get the job? OR should I stop to consider, as Michael Baisden said today, "are you living your dream?"
No not really. But what is my dream? I don't know anymore. I want to have a really cool job, I want to own my own biz, I want to write a book, I want to be a great mom who spends tons of q-time with her kids, I want to travel, I want to write about travelling, I want to save and spend money, I want to buy a beach house, I want to run really fast and really far, we all know I want to be skinny, I want to .........aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh I have no idea but I know I want to do a lot of shit but none of that fits into one dream. Am I supposed to have one concise, accessible dream? If I don't have one dream how am I supposed to work towards it? Hmmm see this is only stressful because I didn't win the lottery yesterday.
I'm stressed about my job. I wonder everyday when I fall asleep on my way to work why I'm driving all this way for a coordinator position that pays a considerable amount less than my previous positions. Dave is driving two hours for a job he loves at least - he's following his dream to build buildings. Ah the beauty in the simplicity of that. So why is my dream, or dreams rather so complicated? And why do I feel like I'm a hamster on a wheel running in place without money? After all, don't they say follow your dream and the money will come?
To add to the stress of figuring out what I want to do with my life, this year of unemployment is finally catching up with us financially and man when you're down it is HARD to get back up. I'm using a lot of energy keeping my spirits up, staying true to my faith and believing everything will be alright. So how do you follow your dreams, losing weight or otherwise, when you're worried about the bills or giving your son everything he needs or just finding the money to eat healthy, maintain a gym membership and other things that are necessary in this journey that I'm on? I don't know the answer but I know I just joined Sport & Health giving me access to all of the clubs eliminating the commute challenge and the childcare challenge because many of the clubs have kids clubs. And as of late, I've come to the conclusion that I need to find the extra money to continue TNT.
Last night I did TNT at 6:15pm followed by spin at 7pm. I only got to see my son for about 15 minutes yesterday but I got in the workout I needed to get me back on track. Man if I had all the tools at this point I truly believe the pounds would shed off. But I'm doing what I can and the pounds are coming off slowly but surely. And you know what? That's ok. So I guess in this outpouring of feelings my uplifting spirit, my unwavering faith and my belief that everything really is going to be ok, shine through.
The saying, "that's life," is taking on a whole new meaning to me right about now! Please share your thoughts and feelings. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
Nik
Well I didn't hit my goal of 241 but I did get to 243! I almost forgot that I had even set a goal until a friend and follower of my blog reminded me! Over the holidays... having NOT followed my own rules and "tips"... having only worked out twice... Ok so I'm not condoning my behavior but I did lose 5 pounds! How? The only thing I can think of is portion control and the muscles I'm breeding happen to be helping out!
But tonight there's something else on my mind.... Stress! So I'm not sure what's going on with my contract job - the one in which the contract is up in say MARCH. I'm up for a manager position, however, I have no idea if I'm going to get it. So do I torture myself with the excruciating pain of the job search or just believe that I will get the job? OR should I stop to consider, as Michael Baisden said today, "are you living your dream?"
No not really. But what is my dream? I don't know anymore. I want to have a really cool job, I want to own my own biz, I want to write a book, I want to be a great mom who spends tons of q-time with her kids, I want to travel, I want to write about travelling, I want to save and spend money, I want to buy a beach house, I want to run really fast and really far, we all know I want to be skinny, I want to .........aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh I have no idea but I know I want to do a lot of shit but none of that fits into one dream. Am I supposed to have one concise, accessible dream? If I don't have one dream how am I supposed to work towards it? Hmmm see this is only stressful because I didn't win the lottery yesterday.
I'm stressed about my job. I wonder everyday when I fall asleep on my way to work why I'm driving all this way for a coordinator position that pays a considerable amount less than my previous positions. Dave is driving two hours for a job he loves at least - he's following his dream to build buildings. Ah the beauty in the simplicity of that. So why is my dream, or dreams rather so complicated? And why do I feel like I'm a hamster on a wheel running in place without money? After all, don't they say follow your dream and the money will come?
To add to the stress of figuring out what I want to do with my life, this year of unemployment is finally catching up with us financially and man when you're down it is HARD to get back up. I'm using a lot of energy keeping my spirits up, staying true to my faith and believing everything will be alright. So how do you follow your dreams, losing weight or otherwise, when you're worried about the bills or giving your son everything he needs or just finding the money to eat healthy, maintain a gym membership and other things that are necessary in this journey that I'm on? I don't know the answer but I know I just joined Sport & Health giving me access to all of the clubs eliminating the commute challenge and the childcare challenge because many of the clubs have kids clubs. And as of late, I've come to the conclusion that I need to find the extra money to continue TNT.
Last night I did TNT at 6:15pm followed by spin at 7pm. I only got to see my son for about 15 minutes yesterday but I got in the workout I needed to get me back on track. Man if I had all the tools at this point I truly believe the pounds would shed off. But I'm doing what I can and the pounds are coming off slowly but surely. And you know what? That's ok. So I guess in this outpouring of feelings my uplifting spirit, my unwavering faith and my belief that everything really is going to be ok, shine through.
The saying, "that's life," is taking on a whole new meaning to me right about now! Please share your thoughts and feelings. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
Nik
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Houston We Have A Problem!
Guys... I haven't been writing in my food journal or writing down my points. I've been doing it in my head. I know that doesn't work! Why can't I focus? I feel totally committed to my weight loss but I'm surprised that I haven't been diligent about the one part that I know makes it all work. I have been good about eating much less but I know that I have busted my daily points allowance a couple of days.
I've also had a lot of trouble making it to the gym and my options seemed to have decreased now that it's cold outside. In short, I'm basically feeling like a GLOB.
I'm really starting to question the 21 days until it becomes a habit theory, but perhaps I'm looking for the wrong habit. Should the habit be to write down everything or to put less and better things into my mouth?
Let's do a little experiment:
Breakfast
One multi-grain waffle w/pat of butter and low cal syrup (4)
4oz fruit/protein shake (3)
Cup of coffee w/1% milk and 1sugar (2)
Total Points: 9
Snack
2 servings of multi-grain tortilla chips w/ 1/4 cup shredded 2% cheese
Total Points: 8!!! NOT GOOD guess this will be my lunch - ZERO point salad here I come!
Lunch
Big salad w/ low fat dressing
Total Points: 2
Snack
Apple
Total Points: 1
Dinner
1 cup of pasta/meatsauce/cheese caserole stuff 8
Broccoli 0
1 pc of garlic bread 3
Total Points: 11
Snack
Cup of hot tea w/honey
Total Points: 1
Workout: TNT + 15min. of jogging on treadmill
Total Points: +11
Total for the day: 32
I have 31 points per day plus I boosted my points today by 11 because of my awesome workout. So I still have 10 points!!! Nice!!! So that was me eating normally but I did make a few changes throughout the day. For instance since I had those nachos, I followed it up with a 2pnt salad - saved myself there because I could have easily made a sandwich for lunch or something. Mentally, I set myself up for a hard workout because I knew where I was points wise and I knew this was my first workout of the week (and yes it's THURSDAY).
There's no doubt about it writing helps but at least I know that I haven't been too off track with my eating. And P.S. a decent sized chunk of lasagna is only 6 points!!! Yummmmmmmm! So I think I'll leave you with my lessons of the day:
- WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN
- HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN YOUR NEW HABITS
Now I can go have a 2 or 3 point dessert without guilt and bank the rest of the other points for a rainy day!
Sweet dreams all!
I've also had a lot of trouble making it to the gym and my options seemed to have decreased now that it's cold outside. In short, I'm basically feeling like a GLOB.
I'm really starting to question the 21 days until it becomes a habit theory, but perhaps I'm looking for the wrong habit. Should the habit be to write down everything or to put less and better things into my mouth?
Let's do a little experiment:
Breakfast
One multi-grain waffle w/pat of butter and low cal syrup (4)
4oz fruit/protein shake (3)
Cup of coffee w/1% milk and 1sugar (2)
Total Points: 9
Snack
2 servings of multi-grain tortilla chips w/ 1/4 cup shredded 2% cheese
Total Points: 8!!! NOT GOOD guess this will be my lunch - ZERO point salad here I come!
Lunch
Big salad w/ low fat dressing
Total Points: 2
Snack
Apple
Total Points: 1
Dinner
1 cup of pasta/meatsauce/cheese caserole stuff 8
Broccoli 0
1 pc of garlic bread 3
Total Points: 11
Snack
Cup of hot tea w/honey
Total Points: 1
Workout: TNT + 15min. of jogging on treadmill
Total Points: +11
Total for the day: 32
I have 31 points per day plus I boosted my points today by 11 because of my awesome workout. So I still have 10 points!!! Nice!!! So that was me eating normally but I did make a few changes throughout the day. For instance since I had those nachos, I followed it up with a 2pnt salad - saved myself there because I could have easily made a sandwich for lunch or something. Mentally, I set myself up for a hard workout because I knew where I was points wise and I knew this was my first workout of the week (and yes it's THURSDAY).
There's no doubt about it writing helps but at least I know that I haven't been too off track with my eating. And P.S. a decent sized chunk of lasagna is only 6 points!!! Yummmmmmmm! So I think I'll leave you with my lessons of the day:
- WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN
- HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN YOUR NEW HABITS
Now I can go have a 2 or 3 point dessert without guilt and bank the rest of the other points for a rainy day!
Sweet dreams all!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Holiday Bulge: Exit Strategy Needed
Happy holidays everyone!
I have solved the gain weight during the holidays dilemma! All you need is an Exit Strategy!
I was worried about Thanksgiving because as most of you know at this point one bad mean can send me spiraling down a very chubby path. And then I had a chat with myself... Thanksgiving is one day and really only one meal. Get a grip! Ok so I'm no angel - it's not like I ate that one meal and that was it. There were leftovers and holiday cookies and Primanti Brothers a must when visiting Pittsburgh and let us not forget holiday drinks! I enjoyed all of it but I still lost TWO pound!!! I'm out of the 250s now! I'm at 248.
Here are my top 10 tips to beat the holiday weight gain...
10. Keep your eye on the prize. Constantly remind yourself that you are in fact on a weight loss journey.
9. Eat like you normally eat on your diet for two out of the three meals a day. I kept my breakfast the same everyday even though there were muffins and pie, pancakes and bacon... I also slept in a lot so sometimes breakfast was an early lunch followed by a small, healthy snack like a handful of peanuts or some fruit.
8. Make sure you always have a low-calorie or low points snack in your bag or near by. I snacked on zero point snacks in between meals so I wasn't starving at mealtime and could control my portions.
7. Plan to start your holiday with a morning walk or run. We did a Turkey Trot in Pittsburgh on Thanksgiving morning. It was a great way to start the holiday and it was nice that the entire day was not about FOOD. For Christmas find a Santa Run or make up your own in your neighborhood.
I felt awesome that morning posing on a bridge that I would have normally driven over. At that point my mom was starting to feel the pain in her knees and back, but I just kept reminding her that she did a loop at Burke Lake which is almost 5 and this is only 2...
you can do it! And she did it! Mom I'm so proud of you! And my cousin ran the 5K in less than 35 minutes breaking her previous time! And I spent a little Q-time with the Pirates Parrot.
Just look at all the people who came out to RUN on an EATING DAY! The three of us had a great time, got a great workout and headed home to cook a great meal. Oh wait, AND we helped the Pittsburgh YMCA, a place that helps people on this journey every day! I've never spent the holiday doing something so good for me but let me tell you, I think this is a new tradition for me.
6. When faced with the BUFFET of food, take a deep breath and put it all in perspective. You can have a LITTLE bit of everything and only go back for the things you really like. You can also avoid things that you know you don't absolutely LOVE or things that you get any day, like bread for instance, that you can skip when you're faced with so many yummy special holiday treats.
5. Take pride in leaving food on your plate. If you are feeling full or just right, put your napkin on top of your plate and push it away or take your plate to the kitchen and return to enjoy the holiday banter.
4. At our house, there are always more than one dessert. So I actually didn't eat dessert that night because I realized, guess what... it will still be there tomorrow! Imagine that. But I also decided to only choose one of the desserts and I left out the add-ons like whip cream on that slice of pumpkin pie or the scoop of ice cream with that piece of apple pie. Cut back where you can.
3. Remember that to binge is a choice. You can stop after that ONE meal. EXIT from the holiday!
2. Make plans to work out at some point during the weekend. Make it a long one. Sunday after Thanksgiving I did a loop at Burke Lake - 5 miles and I jogged about half of it! 5K in April here I come! Run with me if you want! Register at http://www.gwparkwayclassic.com/ and site Boys & Girls Club as the referral source - an organization that is near and dear to my heart benefits from this event!
1. Create your EXIT Strategy BEFORE the holiday. With planning all of this is possible. I learned that this year and it's my pleasure to share what I've learned with all of you.
Pass it on! I'm at 248 and want to be 242 by 1/1/2010. Join me - pass on the blog! We CAN do this!
Nik
I have solved the gain weight during the holidays dilemma! All you need is an Exit Strategy!
I was worried about Thanksgiving because as most of you know at this point one bad mean can send me spiraling down a very chubby path. And then I had a chat with myself... Thanksgiving is one day and really only one meal. Get a grip! Ok so I'm no angel - it's not like I ate that one meal and that was it. There were leftovers and holiday cookies and Primanti Brothers a must when visiting Pittsburgh and let us not forget holiday drinks! I enjoyed all of it but I still lost TWO pound!!! I'm out of the 250s now! I'm at 248.
Here are my top 10 tips to beat the holiday weight gain...
10. Keep your eye on the prize. Constantly remind yourself that you are in fact on a weight loss journey.
9. Eat like you normally eat on your diet for two out of the three meals a day. I kept my breakfast the same everyday even though there were muffins and pie, pancakes and bacon... I also slept in a lot so sometimes breakfast was an early lunch followed by a small, healthy snack like a handful of peanuts or some fruit.
8. Make sure you always have a low-calorie or low points snack in your bag or near by. I snacked on zero point snacks in between meals so I wasn't starving at mealtime and could control my portions.
I felt awesome that morning posing on a bridge that I would have normally driven over. At that point my mom was starting to feel the pain in her knees and back, but I just kept reminding her that she did a loop at Burke Lake which is almost 5 and this is only 2...
5. Take pride in leaving food on your plate. If you are feeling full or just right, put your napkin on top of your plate and push it away or take your plate to the kitchen and return to enjoy the holiday banter.
4. At our house, there are always more than one dessert. So I actually didn't eat dessert that night because I realized, guess what... it will still be there tomorrow! Imagine that. But I also decided to only choose one of the desserts and I left out the add-ons like whip cream on that slice of pumpkin pie or the scoop of ice cream with that piece of apple pie. Cut back where you can.
3. Remember that to binge is a choice. You can stop after that ONE meal. EXIT from the holiday!
2. Make plans to work out at some point during the weekend. Make it a long one. Sunday after Thanksgiving I did a loop at Burke Lake - 5 miles and I jogged about half of it! 5K in April here I come! Run with me if you want! Register at http://www.gwparkwayclassic.com/ and site Boys & Girls Club as the referral source - an organization that is near and dear to my heart benefits from this event!
1. Create your EXIT Strategy BEFORE the holiday. With planning all of this is possible. I learned that this year and it's my pleasure to share what I've learned with all of you.
Pass it on! I'm at 248 and want to be 242 by 1/1/2010. Join me - pass on the blog! We CAN do this!
Nik
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
My 5 Pound Swagger
Greetings everyone!
The other day I was wearing this raspberry-colored jacket with ruffles and silver accents. My hair was looking nice - I straightened it that morning. I received two comments from absolute strangers. One woman was passing me as I was getting on the elevator at work and said that's a really nice color on you. I thanked her, appreciated the complement and went about my day not really thinking much of it. I had worn that jacket before a few times and not received the same attention. The second complement came from a woman passing me on the street as I was walking with a coworker to Starbucks. She said, "I saw you across the street and you just look beautiful. That color is gorgeous on you." A little odd and totally random but nice right? So what changed?
I lost five pounds last week. That's a total of nine pounds since I've started my journey about six weeks ago. It wasn't the fact that I lost the five pounds. It was the confidence that I can do this. It was the confidence that I had pulled a big number in one week and that I was one pound shy of double digits. It was the way I felt in my clothes and the fact that already I'm feeling healthier. It was my Five Pound Swagger! That's why I was noticed. I had a bounce in my step and a glow of happiness.
These past two weeks have not been all peaches and plums over here! Let's talk about the fact that until yesterday I hadn't written down any of my points since last Thursday. I am still upset with myself but nothing like the last time when I felt like I was spiraling out of control. I also had a moment of weakness yesterday with Tommy's Halloween candy. I ate like three mini packs of M&Ms, a mini Twix, a mini Butter Finger and a mini Crunch Bar. It was a chocolate fest. I enjoyed every second of it and then it was over. The craving hasn't returned today. Today I'm fine. I counted the points and have moved on and better yet I ate healthy the rest of the day, which is unlike me in my past life. Normally I would have thrown the whole day out the window. So in a sense I can even be proud of myself in a storm of chocolate.
Anyone interested in a cardio update? Well I haven't been doing great. I got out to walk/jog this past Sunday but I haven't even gone to TNT this week. Yesterday I didn't feel like it but failed to realize that today I'm on pick-up duty for my son and tomorrow we have an event. No TNT until Saturday and hopefully I'll get a long walk/jog in there sometime since the weather is to be so nice.
Guess we'll see what the scales say later this week. Anyone want to take a bet of how much I lose? Send me your guess in your comments!
Until then...
Nik
The other day I was wearing this raspberry-colored jacket with ruffles and silver accents. My hair was looking nice - I straightened it that morning. I received two comments from absolute strangers. One woman was passing me as I was getting on the elevator at work and said that's a really nice color on you. I thanked her, appreciated the complement and went about my day not really thinking much of it. I had worn that jacket before a few times and not received the same attention. The second complement came from a woman passing me on the street as I was walking with a coworker to Starbucks. She said, "I saw you across the street and you just look beautiful. That color is gorgeous on you." A little odd and totally random but nice right? So what changed?
I lost five pounds last week. That's a total of nine pounds since I've started my journey about six weeks ago. It wasn't the fact that I lost the five pounds. It was the confidence that I can do this. It was the confidence that I had pulled a big number in one week and that I was one pound shy of double digits. It was the way I felt in my clothes and the fact that already I'm feeling healthier. It was my Five Pound Swagger! That's why I was noticed. I had a bounce in my step and a glow of happiness.
These past two weeks have not been all peaches and plums over here! Let's talk about the fact that until yesterday I hadn't written down any of my points since last Thursday. I am still upset with myself but nothing like the last time when I felt like I was spiraling out of control. I also had a moment of weakness yesterday with Tommy's Halloween candy. I ate like three mini packs of M&Ms, a mini Twix, a mini Butter Finger and a mini Crunch Bar. It was a chocolate fest. I enjoyed every second of it and then it was over. The craving hasn't returned today. Today I'm fine. I counted the points and have moved on and better yet I ate healthy the rest of the day, which is unlike me in my past life. Normally I would have thrown the whole day out the window. So in a sense I can even be proud of myself in a storm of chocolate.
Anyone interested in a cardio update? Well I haven't been doing great. I got out to walk/jog this past Sunday but I haven't even gone to TNT this week. Yesterday I didn't feel like it but failed to realize that today I'm on pick-up duty for my son and tomorrow we have an event. No TNT until Saturday and hopefully I'll get a long walk/jog in there sometime since the weather is to be so nice.
Guess we'll see what the scales say later this week. Anyone want to take a bet of how much I lose? Send me your guess in your comments!
Until then...
Nik
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I have found the ANTI-DRUG!
Saturday Morning:
I first woke up at about 6:30. The sun was coming up and the sky looked like rainbow ice cream. It was cold but I knew it was going to be a beautiful fall day. Still I went back to sleep! I woke again a little before 9, and although I could have slept a few more hours, I crawled out of bed, blinked a few times and got going. Things looked and felt clear. I had made plans to do a loop at Burke Lake with one of my best friends. It would be the first of my training run/walks for the 5k that I registered for in April. We parked near the playground and I said, "Ok this is how I see this. I want to walk to warm up and then run to one song and see how it goes."
We got to the first break in the path about a mile in (Burke Lake is approximately a 5 mile loop), stretched and found our fight songs. Mine was some fast JLo dance tune - no need to make fun - its a good workout tune! I made it through the song no problem and ran a little more. We walked some more and after that I intermittently walked and ran through three more songs. Then I was like let's run through two songs. The first song was Black Eyed Peas' Where Is The Love followed by Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Hawaii rendition. Two songs - I did it! Then before you know I was running to three songs, my summer song Someone Like You by Kings of Leon, Sing a Song by Earth, Wind & Fire, and Rock and Roll by Eric Hutchinson.
I moved a total of seven miles today, over 18,000 steps, over 11,000 of which were aerobic and get this I can still move! I feel great! I truly enjoyed the walk/run even though my run was more like a jog. I think my friend was actually able to walk faster than I was jogging but that's ok. I could care less how long it takes me. This first 5k is about running and finishing for me. I can work on the speed after my first 5k.
My point is this. When I was thinking about my next entry and the title, I kept coming back to Gateway Drugs. See on Friday night all I wanted to do was eat. I wasn't hungry. I just had a bad case of the munchies. We went to Moe's for dinner. I got a burrito bowl, no rice, just chicken, the beans and lots of veggies, some cheese, about a table spoon of quac and the same of sour cream. Not bad right? Well then I had some chips and salsa, and the leftover pieces of Tommy's cheese quesadilla. Then I had hot chocolate and a sweet n' salty Nature Valley peanut bar. I ended up using all of my extra points for the week on Friday. For me Moe's burrito bowl was the gateway drug. I felt like I was spiraling out of control with just one meal. I knew in the back of my mind that I was going walking/running the next day but still I wanted to save those extra points for Saturday night and football Sunday. Friday night an all too familiar feeling came back to me... the feeling that I couldn't stop eating and that the next day would be the same. I almost panicked.
But the next day, as I was jogging to my music, I could still hear the crunch of the fallen leaves under my feet. Sun was beaming down through the barren trees and I looked out onto a glassy lake. Sparkles danced on the ripples as the wind took my breath away. Everything was glowing orange and the air was crisp. It was beautiful. I chose health that morning. I chose to start on a journey to accomplish something I've never accomplished before. There was a moment when it clicked - I had found and taken the anti-drug!
After our walk/run we went to Starbucks. I got a two-pump skim mocha, found a seat outside in the sun, propped my feet up and enjoyed a well-deserved treat.We talked until my husband and son arrived to join us for a healthy lunch at Jason's Deli. I had the salad bar and a sandwich from their light menu. It was delicious - their salad bar is chocked full of fresh, organic vegetables, dressings and toppings. But I must warn you if you go, beware of the crack muffins at the end of the bar. They make these amazing mini gingerbread and cornbread muffins. They are deadly!
So my Saturday was not a repeat of Friday night. I now know that today does not have to be a repeat of yesterday unless you want it to be. I can choose to make healthy decisions at every turn. There is tremendous new-found freedom in this realization. Have a great week everyone! -- Nikki
I first woke up at about 6:30. The sun was coming up and the sky looked like rainbow ice cream. It was cold but I knew it was going to be a beautiful fall day. Still I went back to sleep! I woke again a little before 9, and although I could have slept a few more hours, I crawled out of bed, blinked a few times and got going. Things looked and felt clear. I had made plans to do a loop at Burke Lake with one of my best friends. It would be the first of my training run/walks for the 5k that I registered for in April. We parked near the playground and I said, "Ok this is how I see this. I want to walk to warm up and then run to one song and see how it goes."
We got to the first break in the path about a mile in (Burke Lake is approximately a 5 mile loop), stretched and found our fight songs. Mine was some fast JLo dance tune - no need to make fun - its a good workout tune! I made it through the song no problem and ran a little more. We walked some more and after that I intermittently walked and ran through three more songs. Then I was like let's run through two songs. The first song was Black Eyed Peas' Where Is The Love followed by Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Hawaii rendition. Two songs - I did it! Then before you know I was running to three songs, my summer song Someone Like You by Kings of Leon, Sing a Song by Earth, Wind & Fire, and Rock and Roll by Eric Hutchinson.
I moved a total of seven miles today, over 18,000 steps, over 11,000 of which were aerobic and get this I can still move! I feel great! I truly enjoyed the walk/run even though my run was more like a jog. I think my friend was actually able to walk faster than I was jogging but that's ok. I could care less how long it takes me. This first 5k is about running and finishing for me. I can work on the speed after my first 5k.
My point is this. When I was thinking about my next entry and the title, I kept coming back to Gateway Drugs. See on Friday night all I wanted to do was eat. I wasn't hungry. I just had a bad case of the munchies. We went to Moe's for dinner. I got a burrito bowl, no rice, just chicken, the beans and lots of veggies, some cheese, about a table spoon of quac and the same of sour cream. Not bad right? Well then I had some chips and salsa, and the leftover pieces of Tommy's cheese quesadilla. Then I had hot chocolate and a sweet n' salty Nature Valley peanut bar. I ended up using all of my extra points for the week on Friday. For me Moe's burrito bowl was the gateway drug. I felt like I was spiraling out of control with just one meal. I knew in the back of my mind that I was going walking/running the next day but still I wanted to save those extra points for Saturday night and football Sunday. Friday night an all too familiar feeling came back to me... the feeling that I couldn't stop eating and that the next day would be the same. I almost panicked.
But the next day, as I was jogging to my music, I could still hear the crunch of the fallen leaves under my feet. Sun was beaming down through the barren trees and I looked out onto a glassy lake. Sparkles danced on the ripples as the wind took my breath away. Everything was glowing orange and the air was crisp. It was beautiful. I chose health that morning. I chose to start on a journey to accomplish something I've never accomplished before. There was a moment when it clicked - I had found and taken the anti-drug!
After our walk/run we went to Starbucks. I got a two-pump skim mocha, found a seat outside in the sun, propped my feet up and enjoyed a well-deserved treat.We talked until my husband and son arrived to join us for a healthy lunch at Jason's Deli. I had the salad bar and a sandwich from their light menu. It was delicious - their salad bar is chocked full of fresh, organic vegetables, dressings and toppings. But I must warn you if you go, beware of the crack muffins at the end of the bar. They make these amazing mini gingerbread and cornbread muffins. They are deadly!
So my Saturday was not a repeat of Friday night. I now know that today does not have to be a repeat of yesterday unless you want it to be. I can choose to make healthy decisions at every turn. There is tremendous new-found freedom in this realization. Have a great week everyone! -- Nikki
Monday, November 2, 2009
Break a Sweat
I don't want the gentleman who so eloquently put it on Facebook, "update your shit hommie," to think I'm only updating because of him... :-)
I was planning a new post this evening regardless. Tonight I want to talk about winning a battle with discouragement. This morning I weighed in at 258 on my home scale. If you recall from a previous post that I had decided to go with the home scale starting number 261. Ok so I've lost three pounds but dude I'm starting my fourth week. When I did weight watchers before I lost more than that in the first week and lost a steady one to two pounds every week thereafter and I wasn't even working out. As my husband gently reminds me, that was oh say 10 years ago.
So I'm fat AND old! That's how I was feeling this morning anyway. I felt so discouraged this morning by a number! Immediately following the moment of truth I walked over to my closet, all the while talking to my husband about how I was trying to overcome these overwhelming feelings of defeat. I put on my clothes and I realized, I feel great in my clothes. All of my pants are fitting better and I feel lighter on my feet. So should I focus on this rather than the number on the scale?
I should be ok with the loss of three pounds. I should feel great about the way I'm feeling in my clothes. But you know what? I'm not going to lie. It feels like crap.
What am I going to do with this feeling of crap? I'm going to fight it. I'm going to TNT tomorrow and going to work my butt off. I'm going to continue to follow my points system. I'm going to attempt to do some freakin' cardio this week. I'm just going to do better that's all. Keep on swimming as Dorie would say. This leads me to another great topic...
Why the heck can't I get my butt in the gym to do more cardio? I don't get it! I feel great after a good cardio workout. I know its good for me. I know it will help me take the weight off faster. I just don't get why I get caught in this I'm home and not going back out vortex as soon as I come home. I'm always envious of those people who appear to enjoy their workouts at the gym so much so that it seems they would die without it when I come in there feeling like I'm going to die just getting through it! Why didn't I get the skinny gene and the ra ra I want to workout gene? So as I change my attitude about the number, my goal is to change my attitude about the cardio.
The comments that I've been receiving are so welcome! They have honestly been helping me get through. Keep them coming and by all means if you have any suggestions about tricking my brain into thinking that an hour on the treadmill is just as enjoyable as say.... eating a triple layer of chocolate fudge cake bring it on!
Until next time.... BREAK A SWEAT!
Nik
I was planning a new post this evening regardless. Tonight I want to talk about winning a battle with discouragement. This morning I weighed in at 258 on my home scale. If you recall from a previous post that I had decided to go with the home scale starting number 261. Ok so I've lost three pounds but dude I'm starting my fourth week. When I did weight watchers before I lost more than that in the first week and lost a steady one to two pounds every week thereafter and I wasn't even working out. As my husband gently reminds me, that was oh say 10 years ago.
So I'm fat AND old! That's how I was feeling this morning anyway. I felt so discouraged this morning by a number! Immediately following the moment of truth I walked over to my closet, all the while talking to my husband about how I was trying to overcome these overwhelming feelings of defeat. I put on my clothes and I realized, I feel great in my clothes. All of my pants are fitting better and I feel lighter on my feet. So should I focus on this rather than the number on the scale?
I should be ok with the loss of three pounds. I should feel great about the way I'm feeling in my clothes. But you know what? I'm not going to lie. It feels like crap.
What am I going to do with this feeling of crap? I'm going to fight it. I'm going to TNT tomorrow and going to work my butt off. I'm going to continue to follow my points system. I'm going to attempt to do some freakin' cardio this week. I'm just going to do better that's all. Keep on swimming as Dorie would say. This leads me to another great topic...
Why the heck can't I get my butt in the gym to do more cardio? I don't get it! I feel great after a good cardio workout. I know its good for me. I know it will help me take the weight off faster. I just don't get why I get caught in this I'm home and not going back out vortex as soon as I come home. I'm always envious of those people who appear to enjoy their workouts at the gym so much so that it seems they would die without it when I come in there feeling like I'm going to die just getting through it! Why didn't I get the skinny gene and the ra ra I want to workout gene? So as I change my attitude about the number, my goal is to change my attitude about the cardio.
The comments that I've been receiving are so welcome! They have honestly been helping me get through. Keep them coming and by all means if you have any suggestions about tricking my brain into thinking that an hour on the treadmill is just as enjoyable as say.... eating a triple layer of chocolate fudge cake bring it on!
Until next time.... BREAK A SWEAT!
Nik
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